I checked out the site wherein my dad was one of the administrators, and the first thing I saw was a picture of him from last May 2008, randomly featured at the site’s homepage. It was a strange and overwhelming feeling. It has been a while since I’ve stared into a photo of him. I guess it was a mixture of sadness, happiness and nostalgia that I felt.

Sad, because of course he’s gone, and he was such a huge chunk in my growing and formative years. He was never not there for me, and I’ve never truly TRULY appreciated that until his death. And I love him for being such a good father to us.

Happy, because he has passed on, and is most likely rocking his afterlife in heaven. I remember how heaven was perceived in The Lovely Bones, and if that was the place where he is now, then I’m really happy for him. I’m glad that he didn’t suffer long, that he wasn’t in a coma for longer than a day. I’m glad he’s doing good, and we’re coping well. I feel like he is somehow with us, still — helping us with everything.

Nostalgic, because when I saw the picture, it was like what you would call a flashback of fond memories. He never let us down. If we needed to go somewhere, he’d drop what he was doing, would do a grumpy act, and drive us there because he wanted to. He taught us things like being content with what we have, being grateful for whatever we receive, valuing life. He didn’t sit down to tell us about these things, but his actions and occasional random words of wisdom did.

He was such a cool dad. Geeky, athletic, charismatic, family-oriented. I remember that the venue for his wake was small, but it was quite a sight to find it so full, 300 people tops, some not able to view his casket because there were so many visitors.

I am glad at how much he has influenced my life. And for that, I miss him dearly.

Daddy, if there is internet in heaven, please read this. We love you so much.

P.S. You would have loved Inglorious Basterds and District 9, and we could have watched Avatar together.